The Life I Didn’t Live: Grieving Unfulfilled Dreams (ADHD Edition)

Host: Christine Dunning, Master Certified Life Coach & founder of Two Cats Coaching
Guest: Stacy Collins, hospice chaplain & fellow late-diagnosed ADHDer

Not all grief follows a funeral. Sometimes it shows up as a quiet ache for the life you didn’t get to live—children you didn’t have, a career that didn’t land, a relationship that never fit, an identity that never fully had space. For many late-diagnosed ADHD adults (especially women), naming these losses is an act of self-compassion—not bitterness.

What We Cover

• Dream grief 101: Mourning the imagined life vs. accepting the real one
• ADHD & regret: indecision, impulsivity, comparison traps, and the shame spiral
• Child-free/childless stories: ambivalence, choosing differently, and finding meaning without parenting
• Career pivots & identities: opera dreams, teaching careers, and redefining success
• Late diagnosis reflections: re-reading your past through an ADHD lens (RSD, impulsivity, masking)
• Health & aging losses: surgeries, changing abilities, and letting go with grace
• Community/societal grief: collective shocks, safety, and unresolved grief in public life
• From “what if” to “what now”: making room for the life that’s here and still coming

Gentle Reframes & Practices

• Name it: “This is grief.” Use language to reduce shame and invite care.
• Permission > perfection: You’ll do grief the way you do grief.
• Feelings → values: Ask, “What did that dream represent?” (belonging, freedom, creativity) and meet the value in new ways.
• Tiny rituals: Write a goodbye letter to an old dream; light a candle; plant something; mark the transition.
• Future-self check-in: “What brings peace/joy/meaning now?”

Favorite Lines

“Naming these losses is an act of self-compassion, not bitterness.”

“Let go of the life you thought you’d have to make room for the life that’s yet to come.”

Series Roadmap

Episode 13: Wait, Is This Grief? 

Episode 14: Why Goodbye Doesn’t Come Easily (Loved Ones & Hospice)

Episode 15: The Quiet Ones Hurt the Most (Pet Grief)

Episode 16: The Life I Didn’t Live (Grieving Lost Dreams) ← you’re here

Episode 17: Rituals & Real Talk (ADHD-Friendly Grief Rituals)

Resources & Support

• U.S. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7)
• 911 for emergencies
• Local mental-health providers and ADHD-informed therapists

Disclaimer
This podcast is for education and support. It is not medical or mental-health advice. If you’re struggling to function or feel unsafe, please seek professional help (U.S.: 988 or 911).

Connect

• Website & show hub: TwoCatsCoaching.com
• IG/FB: @TwoCatsCoaching
• Please subscribe, rate, and share if this helps you. 💛