From Stuck to Started: ADHD Paralysis Explained

ADHD paralysis is when you want to do something—but can’t start. It’s not laziness or procrastination—it’s your brain getting stuck in a fear response.

Key Shifts

• Drop the shame
• Stop asking “why?” → ask “what’s one step?”
• Focus on starting, not finishing

What Actually Helps

• Get it out of your head (say it or write it)
• Break tasks into very small steps
• Try the Just Five Method (5-minute timer + start)
• Adjust your environment (music, location, noise)
• Use support (accountability, body doubling)

Try This!

Pick one task and do just five minutes.

Next episode: From Doing to Done: How to Finish What You Start

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Have you ever been stuck in that loop of thinking about what to do? And then not actually doing it. You know, you've got a full checklist of all these things you need to get done. And yet somehow, you don't have the ability to seem to start any of them. Well, you are not alone. And today I'm going to show you how to get started when you feel stuck. Hi, I'm Christine Dunning. I'm a Master Certified Life Coach, the owner of Two Cats Coaching, and the host of this, A Solar Person's Guide to ADHD. And today we're going to talk about one of the most frustrating ADHD experiences out there: ADHD paralysis. So what is ADHD paralysis? It's when you're unable to start a task even when it's important to you. Even if it's time sensitive. And even when you really want to do it, and you just somehow can't get started. Now, technically, ADHD paralysis, it's not an official diagnosis or symptom, but let's be honest, it's a very real phenomenon. And I'm going to start by clearing up something right away. And that is what ADHD paralysis is not. And the big one is that it's not procrastination. Procrastination is the feeling of, uh, I just don't want to do this thing. And so I'm just going to avoid it. ADHD paralysis is I really want to do this thing, need to do this thing. And I'm stuck in neutral, and I can't get the gas going. Understand, this isn't the same. It's not procrastination, it's not laziness, it's not a lack of discipline. It's not you about being a terrible human being. This is your brain not cooperating. There's a disconnect for you between the desire and the do. So what does ADHD process look like? It can show up as many things. Difficulty managing tasks, time blindness, trouble focusing, mood swings, decision making struggles, brain frog. I always say brain frog, brain fog, losing your train of thought, overthinking, trouble starting first steps, working memory, getting overwhelmed by multi-step tasks, and task jumping. Honestly, that's probably just the tip of the iceberg. And then to make it more complicated, if you're also dealing with things like anxiety, depression, autism, OCD, or just what it seems to be like to be a human in 2026, it gets even harder. I don't know about you, but honestly, after that list, I feel like I need a moment of zen. So what's really going on? A big piece of this is that it's your brain on fear response. There's a section of our brain called the amygdala. It's your internal alarm system. And the problem is the amygdala is a part of our brains that hasn't really developed that much over the centuries. It still acts like you're a caveman or cavewoman. And it's like there's tiger in cave. In meantime, your threat is there's laundry need done. Email need writing. Phone call must answer. Which really isn't the same thing, is it? But your brain reacts the same way. It says, This is dangerous, shut down. And so if you've ever thought, why can't I just do these things? That is why. By the way, I want to explain something here. This is going to be the first in two episodes. So something really important to understand starting a project and finishing a project are actually two completely different brain jobs. So today, this episode is going to be about getting your brain online enough to begin. The next one, which I'm calling from doing to done, is about how to stay with something long enough to finish it. So if by the time you see this, I have completed and uploaded that episode, it's going to appear right here. And if there's nothing over my finger, it means it's not done yet. Today, we're going to talk about starting loops. And then next time, we'll talk about how to close them. It seems to always be about dinner. And I think some of it's for me is that time of day, that is really my low spot. My brain isn't doesn't function very well by about 5:30 or 6 o'clock in the evening. And I know I should eat something, and I'm getting kind of hungry. And so I sit down, I open my phone because, you know, maybe I'm bored with what's in the fridge, or I don't really want to spend the time to make anything. And I start scrolling Uber Eats. And frequently, all of a sudden, it's 45 minutes or an hour later, and I'm still doing the phone scroll. At which point I usually am like, okay, now I'm really hungry. And so I make cereal, if I actually have milk in the house, or peanut butter toast. Let's talk about what are some of the solutions we can come up with for this. I think the first thing we have to do is take the shame out of this. You've got to stop saying to yourself, I'm a horrible person because I've left the dishes in the sink. But let me be honest, you are not a horrible person. You're a person with a brain that gives you all sorts of extra challenges. So what you need to do is take the shame out of the blame. It's like a math equation. Just think of it like, okay, we've got all this blaming going on. I'm just going to take out the shame, which means I'm going to stop telling myself I'm a horrible person. And now we're just left with a task. Something to do. The dishes need to get done. And I think that's a very different starting point. When we stop yelling at ourselves because we can't get something done easily, then we're just left with the thing that needs to be done. And without blame, that gets so much easier. The second point is actually really related. And that's the question of why. You can, it's, I think this is very related to that shame-blame syndrome. If you keep asking why, why can't I do this? Why can't I just get up? Everybody else seems to do it. Why can't I? Well, honestly, yeah. You know why? You have ADHD. I'm guessing you already knew that. But you can't expect your ADHD brain to do things the same way a neurotypical brain does. So stop asking yourself why, because the answer is ADHD. Instead of why, ask what or how. Those words are much more powerful. What do I actually need to do? How do I get myself started? And if you start answering those questions, that's much more important in the end than the why me. So now, into the practical. Now, personally, if you live alone, external might be, you know, just saying it out loud, literally putting it into the ethos of speaking it instead of thinking it in your head. Get it out of your head. Write it down. If there is somebody in your household you can say it to, say it to that person. Call somebody, text somebody, tell it to your cat. I don't know about you. My cat is a lousy accountability partner. I love her anyway. But you know, she she just doesn't care. My next step is to consider doing brain dumps. And I think we should really probably do these on a regular basis. Get everything out of your head. Get it all somewhere where it's visible. Write it all down. Now I have a couple of quick tips on this. Three different possibilities here. If you have a big project with a lot of moving parts and you don't know where to start, consider putting your thoughts on post-it notes or index cards, you know, one idea to a page. And then as you need, rearrange them. Write them on other lists if you need to. But this way you can change the order of things and you can put things in ways that make sense to you. If you need to keep a list, make it digital. I'll be honest, right now, I personally have not one, not two, not three, but four to-do lists on the desktop of my computer. And that's not including all the things that I keep on my phone. Because if you're like me, a piece of paper is pretty ephemeral, but the computer is accessible. And you can put its words into search and find those words so you can find the list you need. Now, if you just need to process, consider writing it longhand. There are studies that show that longhand writing is the best way to deal with processing feelings. And then again, as necessary, apply that information to one of the other methods and put things where you need them. Eliminate what doesn't matter, organize what's left, add deadlines, calendar dates, timers, as you need. The next thing I'd like to talk about is what I call the just five method. This is one of my favorites. It's very simple. The first thing you do is whatever it is you're wanting to do, announce it out loud. Say it to the world. Say it to somebody if you can. Say it to your cat if that's who you've got. But speak it out loud. I'm going to do the dishes now. And then stand up. Seriously, stand up. Even if the thing you're going to do is back in the seat that you're already in, you need to get your blood flowing. You need to move your body just a little bit in order to get this moving for you. Number three, set a timer for just five minutes. And then go do the thing. You may only get a little bit of it done. You may get a lot of it done. You'd be surprised what you can do in five minutes. And then make sure that when the timer buzzes, that you take a second to appreciate that you did it. Not do the, oh, it's only five minutes. But wow, I did five minutes. And from here, you can actually do way more than that if you want. But that's how we start. By the way, in the next episode, I'm going to be using a similar technique to actually finish things as well. Number six, make sure you break your tasks down. Make them small enough so that they're easy to start. Think bite-sized, manageable, not overwhelming. If you're thinking about something like a book, that's a huge project and can feel really overwhelming. So instead, take the time to break it down into chapters and then even subchapters. And then every time you sit down, choose one. I'm going to talk more about that next time. Another thing is to consider the Pomodoro method. You'll hear me talk about this a lot because it's really, it really works. And it's five and 25-minute segments. Your first five is to get yourself organized, then 25 to really work. Again, set that timer. Then take a five-minute break and really take the break. Don't get on your phone. Don't do other screen things if you're on the screen. Go outside if you can, look far distances, breathe, do a super quick walk, whatever you need to do. And then another 25 after that. And that's a full Pomodoro hour. Number seven, consider adjusting your environment. Sometimes it's not just you, it's your actual surroundings. Consider putting out some white noise. If you have to do something physical, put on some energizing music or put on some um some quiet beats or something, anything that keeps you motivated. Try earplugs if you're in a noisy environment. If you don't like working in your office, what about going to a coffee shop or a library? I am the queen of coffee shops. I spend a lot of time in there. I wrote this in a coffee shop. I have to do the recording at home, but I can do the writing somewhere else. And my brain just thinks better there. I don't have all the distractions I have at home. Number eight, make sure you reward yourself. Not just at the end, but for each step that you get done. Have a coffee, get a treat, do something fun. Consider gamifying it. There's lots of apps out there where you can, you know, dress an avatar for having done your thing. Whatever it works for you. And number nine, of course, get some support. Don't try to just brute force stuff all by yourself. Support can look a lot of different ways. You can certainly use a therapist. You can have an accountability partner, somebody that you're saying to, hey, I'm going to go do the dishes now. Send them a text. Tell them when you've gotten it done. Do some body doubling. You're working on one project, somebody else is working on another project, but you do it in the same space. If you can't physically be in the same space, consider doing it over Zoom or a phone call. But do something where the other person is actually there. Get practical help for certain things. If some tasks are too hard or too overwhelming, consider hiring some help. I have a housekeeper who comes on a regular basis, about once a month. That's not that much money. And it helps me keep up so much. I can keep up a clean house much easier than I can get a clean house. And honestly, a little plug here. This is what life coaches do. This is what we excel at. I'm just saying, we're really great at things like that. And so here's my question for you. Where are you stuck right now? What's just one thing? I'd like you to try one of these strategies. I'd consider the just five because that's a really quick way to get going. Get yourself started. Not everything, but pick one and then let me know about it. Remember, this isn't about doing everything, but it is about starting to do something. And if you want help getting unstuck, that's exactly what I do. I do offer a quick program right now called Get It Done. This is a really inexpensive way to get things started on things that your brain resists. And with some support so that you don't fall back into the same loop. It's basically two sessions with some contact time in between. I just had somebody recently write an entire course because he knew I was going to hold him accountable during that time period. So consider that if you would. I'll put the details in the show notes. And then also, next time, my next episode is called From Doing to Done. Now that we've learned some ways to start things, how do you actually finish? Because starting matters, but finishing, that's huge. Thanks again for coming. I'm Christine, Master Certified Life Coach. My company is called Two Cats Coaching, and this is a solo person's guide to ADHD.